Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The kelp keeps piling up

(Usual disclaimer: Actual art models tend to be cool, interesting people. Wannabe "models" who find me on the Internet are sometimes pretty bizarre. Those are the ones the kelp stories usually come from. I put up with them because it's a way to shoot with the rare women who become real art models before everybody else gets a chance to shoot with them. I've had models I've work with say they find the kelp stories hilarious but I'd hate for somebody else to get the wrong idea.)

People are so weird. I have this conversation, oh, maybe twice a year. It's unusual but not a shock when it comes up at this point. It goes like this.

Model: OHAI! I'd like to pose naked for your Internet site! I have experience and am very attractive so you should pay me a lot of money!
Photographer: Great! I'd like to see some of your nude work so I can see what you look like!
Model: Oh, noes! You must be one of those dreaded Internet Picture Collectors! You may not see pictures of me naked before the shoot! Oh, and by the way, I want you to commit to (insert outrageous rate here)!

Always makes my head spin. I think often it's a cover for something else (she doesn't want you to find out about her botched boob job until it's too late) but taking this on face value... if she works with me the pictures are going on the Internet. You know, on this website. The one they somehow found and contacted me through. Thousands of people will see the pictures. It's a popular site. Global and everything. Anyway, I already have thousands of pictures of naked women. You know, because I take them regularly.

Strange stuff. Especially when they act like they're being all clever and street smart and like they just caught you being naughty and asking for something inappropriate. Which it would be... if they weren't applying for a job as a nude model.

(Regular readers know that I also often do pre-meets with models - usually I'll offer a choice of sending shots or doing a pre-meet, whichever the model finds more convenient... but only if I'm already pretty sure everything's OK. If there are any red flags at all I'll require more info before taking the time to meet somebody, usually in the form of pictures.)

PS - this is a scheduled post that I wrote a while back and scheduled out a few days just in case the model who "inspired" this post came through and I wanted to work with her. Nope, she threatened me including that she would everybody that I asked her for such shots (the implication being that then they'd know I'm evil). The funny bit? All that info's on the modeling page she contacted me through. So she's threatening to tell people the information on the page she clearly didn't read... you just can't make this stuff up!

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