Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sleepy Sunday Kelp

As always, when I tell a "model" story it's almost always a "bored college student who wants to tell her friends she models" story - the ones who stick with it and achieve some measure of success rarely generate kelp stories. And oddly enough I get email from models I've worked with to the effect of "Did she really do that? HAHAHAHAHA!" I think they find it reassuring that the upcoming generation is less of a threat than you might think.

Anyway, I had a model chew me out for daring to offer her a nude modeling job. Part of the reason she was so offended, and I quote... "I thought you would of read my profile I made it pretty clear that I don't do nudes".

The interesting thing is that there isn't anything about nudes on her profile either way. Not even a list of what she does want to do (which might imply she doesn't want to do anything not mentioned). I can only assume there used to be something on the issue that accidentally got deleted or whatever, and she didn't bother to double check before writing.

And it turns out that a lot of models who have some "no nudes" line in their profiles actually do nudes. They just don't want to be swamped with offers from bozo kelpy wanna-be photographers who just want to see their bewbs. (Helpful Hint: strip clubs are cheaper). Or maybe it's just in case dad checks their profile. So if they want to work with you they'll contact you directly. So what you do is maybe leave a nice comment on one of their photos to get their attention and hope they write back.

The problem of course is that it only takes that happening once before people start ignoring any "no nudes" stuff in portfolios and the people who feel like their time is wasted by this kind of email get more and more shrill about it.

It also doesn't help any when you get things like this one gal who worked with a few folks doing nudes who put something in her profile like "I don't do nudes, IF YOU SEE ANY THEY WERE PHOTOSHOPPED." Well, that's not true, because she worked with quite a few people and they can't all be fake, but imagine some model who wants to work with one of those photographers, and clicks through to models he's worked with and she sees that statement. What a mess.

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